My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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