Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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