She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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