Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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