Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
