O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
