porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
