I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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