maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize