we're blogging at a bar
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
