Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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