You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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