I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You made out with two different species that night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
