tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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