I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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