i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
