next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
