In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
