..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
its not stalking. its research.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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