and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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