Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
