Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
