I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
