i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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