I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
