real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
