I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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