Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
