you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
3pm strippers are depressing
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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