physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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