Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
