sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
