I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
