That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I love you. Go after that dick
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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