I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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