Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
