I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
