I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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