is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
