Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
