hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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