I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
