Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
