I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
bring money and cleavage
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize