Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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