last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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