Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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