okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
