Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
