You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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