cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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