I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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