a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Floor bacon is actually really good
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
