i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
