he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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