Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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