roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize