if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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