i would punch a child for taco bell
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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