The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize