When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
