I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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