took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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