whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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